Harry Styles speaks for 1st time on Liam Payne’s death and says it made him question ‘what do I want to do with my life’

HARRY Styles has opened up about the death of his close friend and One Direction bandmate Liam Payne for the first time, admitting it made him reevaluate his own life.

The As It Was singer, who was in the group with him from 2010 to 2016, said living his life “to the fullest” is the best way he can “honor” his friend.

In an interview with Zane Lowe on Apple Music this afternoon, he explained: “It’s difficult to lose any friend, but it’s so difficult to lose a friend who is so like you in so many ways. 

“It’s like, I saw someone with the kindest heart who just wanted to be great. 

“It was a really important moment for me in terms of taking a look at my life and being able to say to myself, ‘OK, what do I want to do with my life? How do I want to live my life?’ 

“And I think the greatest way you can honor your friends who pass away is by living your life to the fullest.”

Liam died when he fell from a balcony at a hotel in Argentina in October 2024 – 14 years after finding fame on The X Factor.

Harry, 32, was put into the group with Liam, Niall Horan, 32, Zayn Malik, 33, and Louis Tomlinson, 34, and they spent the next five years releasing five albums and touring the world.

Reflecting on the bond he formed with Liam, he said he was a “super special person” and is still “really sad” about his death.

But Harry said he struggled to grieve because he felt like everyone was waiting for him to make a public statement in the days after he died, as millions of fans came to terms with the news.

He explained: “I think there was a period when he passed away where I really struggled with kind of acknowledging how strange it is to have people kind of own part of your grief, in a way.

“I have such strong feelings around my friend passing away. And then suddenly being, you know, like aware that there’s maybe a desire from other people of you to convey that in some way, or it means you’re not feeling what you’re feeling or something, you know?”

Last August, The Sun revealed Harry was dating American actress Zoe Kravitz, 37, – his first public girlfriend since splitting from Canadian actress Taylor Russell, 31, in May 2024.

And now aged 32, he has made it clear he’s ready to settle down and start a family.

His new album Kiss All The Time. Disco, Occasionally, is out on Friday and features a track called American Girls.

It is about watching three close friends wed US partners, and it made him think about changes he needed to make to his own life to find meaningful love.

He explained: “It’s actually quite a lonely song in a lot of ways. I watched my three closest friends get married. 

“[It’s about] having the time to stop and assess all of it and really look at my life from a bird’s eye view and go, ‘What do I actually want in my life?’

“Like, ‘What are really the things that I want in my life?’ If you’re like touring all the time and you’re doing this all the time and all these things, there’s no space to really choose.

“I think I had a real honest conversation with myself about, ‘OK, in five years, what do I want my life to look like? And then how do I make changes to aim at that?’

“I don’t want to be the guy who’s on his own but was like, ‘Oh, I really did it.’ 

“I want to be fulfilled and I want to be in great relationships with people. 

“I want to have great friendships with people. I want a family. I want these things. 

“It just allowed me to go like, ‘OK, what do I have to do to create space to allow these things to happen? I can’t just expect them to just happen to me.’”

And he made it clear he wants his future wife to “challenge” him.

He said: “The right person, that’s part of why you choose that person is because they hold you accountable to the person that they know you want to be. 

“I think accepting flaws and stuff is like, yes, having understanding is wonderful, but you know that I want to be better than that. 

“So when you challenge me on something. It’s a gift to me, actually.”

During his time in One Direction, they became the biggest band in the world, selling over 70million records and scoring four No1 singles and albums.

But he has become even more of a superstar as a solo act.

He will set the record this summer for the most shows at Wembley Stadium on a single tour for any artist when he plays 12 nights there.

It will be part of his Together, Together tour, in which he will have residencies in seven cities dotted across the globe.

It’s a sea change from his Love On Tour run of 169 shows from September 2021 to July 2023, which took him around the world multiple times and sent him home feeling unsure of his purpose.

As part of a cover shoot for Runner’s World magazine this week, he said: “Something I’ve often struggled with, in the middle of a tour, is feeling like I’m not sure what I’m giving, not sure what I’m adding to the world.

“Especially when the reward system and the kind of … adulation that you can receive feels so loud. Like, clearly I’m getting so much from this, I’m getting all this energy. 

“People are giving me so much, which I deeply appreciate. But what am I contributing? At times I felt quite existential about that.”

But he took a break after his last tour and ended up travelling the world for fun, for once, and running two marathons, before attending a Radiohead gig in Berlin in December, which he said cemented his decision to return to the stage again this year.

He told Apple Music: “This time I was turning 30 and I wanted to take a break and assess, I think. 

“I didn’t want to just roll straight into another process of making something and I thought it was time to just honestly make sure I still loved it, in a lot of ways.

“I’ve always had the conversation with myself about if I ever checked in with myself and was like, ‘I don’t love it, it’s not fun anymore’, then I kind of just made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do it.”

There are high expectations for his new album, which is set to become the fastest-selling album of the year so far in the UK after its first day, thanks to huge preorder figures.

In January, Harry dropped the first single Aperture – made after a mad night in Berlin where he admitted: “We didn’t sleep that much” – and it went straight to the top of the charts.

And it was his time partying during his break from being a pop star which sowed the seed for the record.

He said: “Good electronic music is so good, you know – especially the melodic aspect.

“When you’re out at night, it’s such a community, but you’re also watching people have such individual experiences.

“I wanted to recreate [what] I had on the dance floor, being lost in instrumentation and the musicality. It was so immersive, like, this is how I want to feel when I’m on stage too.

“I don’t want it to feel like a sermon I’m delivering. I wanted it to feel like, oh, we’re in this music together. Like I’m in it with you.”

He is such a fan of the album, Harry said he feels less reliant on success for his sense of self.

The As It Was singer said: “I think just being in a place in my life where I’m like, if I put this album out and everyone decided they hated it. Would I be sensitive about it? Yes, I would.

“Would it make me doubt who I know myself to be as a person? No, it wouldn’t.”

And despite his global success and millions of adoring fans, there is always someone to keep him grounded, even if it’s a total stranger.

On an interaction shortly after winning the Grammy for Album of the Year for Harry’s House in 2023, he recalled: “Everyone makes you feel like you’re kind of on top of the mountain.

“I got on my flight back to London and the stewardess came up and she was like, ‘Oh, congrats on your Emmy. I saw your grandma gave it to you. That must have been nice.’ 

“And I was like, ‘Oh… yeah.’ I was outside of the bubble.”